Что нужно знать о девушке: Все, что ты должен знать о девушках

основные моменты, которые должна знать каждая девушка

• 1

  особенности личной гигиены девушки

• 2

  начало менструаций в пубертате

• 3

  правила поведения при вступлении в половые отношения с мужчиной

• 4

  необходимые условия для наступления беременности

• 5

  тактика поведения женщины при наступившей беременности

• 6

  ситуации, когда необходимо обращаться к гинекологу

Боязнь обратиться к гинекологу по какому-либо вопросу свойственна подавляющему большинству молодых девушек, ведь тема действительно очень деликатная и не каждая девушка решается довериться и обратиться к специалисту по профилю, а ищет советы у подруг, старших женщин, в книгах, интернете. К сожалению, далеко не всегда эти «рекомендации» действительно полезны, а иногда и способны причинить непоправимый вред молодому женскому организму. В этой статье мы постараемся ответить на наиболее часто задаваемые вопросы молодого поколения врачу акушеру-гинекологу, дать рекомендации как поступать в различных жизненных ситуациях.

Что должна знать каждая девушка

Личная гигиена девочки, девушки, женщины

Тема личной гигиены достаточно активно обсуждается в литературе, с самого раннего детства прививается родителями своим маленьким дочкам, но в то же время в ней имеются некоторые неясные моменты, которые побуждают девушек совершать ошибки в уходе за собой. Девушкам необходимо подмываться под чистой, теплой, проточной водой с использованием pH-нейтральных средств. Очень нежелательно использовать мыло, которое имеет щелочную среду, так как можно сместить нормальную кислую среду во влагалище, поддерживаемую специальными бактериями, в сторону щелочной, что спровоцирует нарушение нормального биоценоза половых путей и рост болезнетворных микроорганизмов. Подмываться обязательно движениями «

спереди назад», только промежность и наружные половые органы. Многие совершают ошибку, пытаясь для «наилучшей чистоты» промыть и влагалище, но этого делать не следует, опять же по причине возможного нарушения состава микрофлоры.

Менархе как этап взросления

Обычно первая менструация (менархе) у девушки наступает в возрасте 11-13 лет, но иногда менструация может наступить и в более позднем возрасте – 14-15 лет. Дефицит массы тела (вес менее 48 кг при среднем росте) может препятствовать своевременному началу менструации. Если менструация не наступает по достижении возраста 16 лет, то имеет смысл обратиться к эндокринологу и провести исследование гормонального профиля.

Становление регулярного менструального цикла у девушек требует различного времени: но максимально в норме цикл устанавливается в течение 6 месяцев после менархе. Если этого не происходит, по прошествии полугода менструации нерегулярные, то обязательно требуется очная консультация гинеколога и обследование.

Интенсивность болевых ощущений у каждой девушки различна: зависит от индивидуального уровня болевого порога, от образа жизни, нервной регуляции, психического фактора и тп. Умеренные болевые ощущения внизу живота и в поясничной области во время менструации являются нормальной. Продолжительность менструации от 2 до 7 дней, при более длительных менструациях существует реальный риск развития железодефицитной анемии, поэтому важно своевременно обратиться к специалисту и контролировать общий анализ крови.

Начало половой жизни: что необходимо знать

Период начала половой жизни у девушек обычно приходится на возраст 17-19 лет, иногда несколько позже. Более раннее начало половой жизни, особенно если не наступила психологическая готовность, может иметь серьезные последствия. Прежде всего, необходимо разобраться, что подразумевают под словом «лишение девственности».

Многие девушки обращаются к гинекологу и уверяют в своей девственности при наличии в анамнезе одного или нескольких половых актов, аргументируя это тем, что девственная плева не была разорвана, крови при половом акте не было. Девственная плева может быть различной степени эластичности, отличаться по количеству имеющихся в ней естественных отверстий, поэтому она не в 100% случаев разрывается при первом половом акте. В большинстве случаев либо происходит ее частичный надрыв (при этом не всегда имеет место кровотечение, так как это зависит от локализации и размера кровеносных сосудов, от состояния реологических свойств крови), либо растяжение, что не сопровождается кровотечением вовсе. Но само по себе начало полового акта подразумевает лишение девственности и требует в последующем осмотра у гинеколога.

При первом половом акте необходимо обязательно использовать барьерный метод контрацепции, если беременность пока не желанна, так как даже незащищенный открытый контакт половых органов без эякуляции может привести к наступлению беременности и заражению ИППП. Наиболее приемлемый метод контрацепции для подростков и молодых пар – использование презервативов, так как он практически не имеет противопоказаний, достаточно надежный (при правильном использовании).

Когда обращаться к врачу?

Существует несколько ситуаций, когда помощь гинеколога женщине просто необходима, а промедление в обращении за ней может иметь нехорошие последствия – вплоть до развития бесплодия в будущем, а иногда и летального исхода.

1. Острая боль в животе. Обычно появление выраженного болевого синдрома сопровождает многие острые гинекологические заболевания, которые требуют безотлагательного лечения или оперативного вмешательства. К таким состояниям относятся: острый сальпингоофорит, некроз миоматозного узла, перекрут кисты яичника, прервавшаяся внематочная беременность. Причиной боли может быть и хирургическая патология, к примеру аппендицит.  Во всех случаях сильного болевого синдрома показано экстренное обращение к гинекологу или вызов скорой медицинской помощи для госпитализации или обследования в приемном отделении многопрофильной больницы.
2. Длительная задержка менструации. Небольшие задержки менструации могут случаться и у здоровых женщин и не всегда требуют коррекции состояния. Если же задержка менструации превышает 14 дней, то важно обратиться к специалисту очно и пройти обследование для выявления причины.
3. Признаки инфекции. Если появились зуд, жжение, патологические выделения из влагалища или высыпания на наружных половых органах, то первой задачей является обратиться на прием к гинекологу и сделать простой анализ – мазок на микрофлору, в некоторых случаях – анализ на ИППП. Даже если у девушки не было половых контактов, то появление признаков воспаления все равно является показанием к выполнению анализа на микрофлору, это поможет определиться с лечебной тактикой. Самостоятельное начало лечения препаратами для санации половых путей (антибиотики, противогрибковые, антипротозойные и антисептики) может затруднить диагностику, приводя к неправильному лечению и не достижению желаемых результатов – инфекция перейдет в хроническую форму и ее лечение станет длительным и сложным. Хроническая инфекция может приводить к формированию спаечного процесса, а это один из основных факторов бесплодия у молодых женщин.
4. Наступившая беременность. Если женщина забеременела – то ей обязательно следует обратиться к гинекологу. Если беременность нежеланная – то раннее обращение может сделать последствия прерывания беременности не такими серьезными, как на более позднем сроке. Следует помнить, что любая попытка самостоятельно спровоцировать прерывание беременности или аборт вне стен гинекологического стационара расценивается как криминальный аборт и является уголовным преступлением. Такие действия могут привести к смерти женщины или тяжелым последствиям для ее здоровья и будущей репродуктивной функции.
5. Маточное кровотечение. Появление кровянистых выделений (за исключением плановой менструации) является серьезным сигналом неполадок в работе половых органов. Если же кровянистые выделения появились при беременности – то это повод для вызова скорой медицинской помощи, так как является сигналом начала спонтанного прерывания беременности или угрозы прерывания.

Немного о беременности и способах ее предотвращения

Для наступления беременности необходимо всего два фактора: наличие живого активного сперматозоида и созревшей яйцеклетки. Яйцеклетка выходит в маточную трубу из яичника только во время овуляции, то есть оплодотворение может наступить только в этот период. Исходя из этих данных многие считают, что могут забеременеть только во время овуляции и не используют средств контрацепции в другое время цикла. Это неправильно, так как существует несколько тонкостей, которые должна знать каждая девушка, вступающая в интимные отношения с мужчиной:

1. Календарный метод контрацепции не точен. На практике беременность может наступить от полового акта практически в любой день менструального цикла. Овуляция не всегда происходит в определенный день, даже у женщин с регулярным менструальным циклом допустимы незначительные сдвиги в сторону ранней или поздней овуляции.
2. Жизнеспособность сперматозоидов. Сперматозоиды очень быстро разрушаются на воздухе в окружающей среде, но достаточно длительное время могут сохранять жизнеспособность в женских половых путях – этот срок максимально достигает 5-7 суток.  Следовательно, при сдвиге овуляции в ту или иную сторону и максимальной жизнеспособности сперматозоидов оплодотворение может произойти и после полового акта в относительно «безопасные дни».
3. Смегма и ее особенности. Много вопросов получает врач гинеколог о возможности наступления беременности после петтинга. Такая возможность на самом деле существует.  Во время полового возбуждения у мужчины выделяется особая смазка (смегма), в которой могут обнаруживаться сперматозоиды. Их концентрация очень низкая, но следует помнить, что для наступления беременности достаточно и одного, но активного сперматозоида.
4. Посткоитальная контрацепция. Беременность можно предотвратить, даже если уже состоялся незащищенный половой акт. В течение 48-72 часов можно принять препарат (Эскапел, Женале, Постинор и тп). Чем раньше после половой близости был принят препарат, тем выше его эффективность. Данные препараты не прерывают уже наступившую беременность вопреки распространенному мнению, а просто препятствуют ее наступлению (так как после оплодотворения до наступления беременности проходит еще достаточно большой путь – оплодотворенная яйцеклетка из маточной трубы спускается в полость матки и закрепляется к ее стенке, происходит имплантация. Этот путь занимает 6-7 суток).

Если беременность наступила

Обычно о наступлении беременности женщина узнает после задержки менструации, сделав тест на беременность и увидев положительный результат. Но зачастую женщина начинает подозревать о возможном наступлении беременности еще до возникновения задержки менструации, особенно, если имели место незащищенные половые контакты. Ввиду данных ситуаций актуальным делается вопрос о наиболее ранней и надежной диагностике наступившей беременности.

Самым ранним методом диагностики является анализ крови на ХГЧ. Он может выявить повышение ХГЧ выше порогового уровня уже через 6-8-10 дней после оплодотворения (овуляции).

Тест на беременность основан тоже на улавливании концентрации ХГЧ, но уже в моче. В моче повышение происходит несколько позже, поэтому мочевой тест оптимально делать через 12-14 дней после оплодотворения, а это приходится на 1 день задержки менструации или за 1-2 до нее. Более раннее выполнение теста на беременность неоправданно, результат будет недостоверным.

Некоторые женщины, заподозрив беременность, сразу отправляются на УЗИ. Но, к сожалению, метод УЗИ для определения беременности малых сроков нелогичен, так как утолщение эндометрия весьма косвенный признак беременности, а плодное яйцо начинает визуализироваться несколько позже.

Следует знать, что при получении положительного результата анализа на гормон ХГЧ необходимо по возможности обратиться к гинекологу для очного осмотра и постановки на учет по беременности в женскую консультацию. 

90000 10 Things You Need To Know About Dating A California Girl, Because What You’ve Seen On TV Is Hella Wrong 90001 90002 If you picture all California girls as blonde, blue-eyed, completely shallow females who compensate what they lack in intelligence with attitude, then you’ve got it completely wrong. There are all different kinds of California girls, not just the cliché kind, and if you do not know any, you’re missing out. 90003 90002 California has a lot of beaches, but not everybody surfs.There are many people who live 10 minutes from the beach, and never ever go there. Beaches just are not their thing; just like how mountains are not for everybody, and some people hate camping so much that they do not even enjoy glamping. 90003 90002 It’s ridiculous to think that 90007 The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 90008 are representative of 90007 everybody 90008 who lives in California in the same way that 90007 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 90008 is not a cross section of everybody who lives in Georgia.90003 90002 One in eight people who reside in the United States live in California — that’s a crap ton of people. While some people may be scarily similar to the characters in the SNL sketch 90007 The Californians 90008, there’s also a huge amount of people who could not be less like them. 90003 90002 California girls are tough-they have to be because they need to know how to deal with droughts, earthquakes, and the constant complaining of people from other states who (for some reason) are forced to live in LA or San Francisco, and must express how much California and its residents, suck on a semi-regular basis.90003 90002 California women are not into competing about which state is the best-it’s pretty pointless. You love your state, and that’s cool, California girls just can not imagine living anywhere else. 90003 90022 1. California Is not Just One Way 90023 90002 NoCal is nothing like SoCal, but Central Calif. is kind of like both of them put together.California is so many different things that there’s constant talk of dividing it up into as many as 6 different states- that’s like having a state for every different mood you’re in.I feel depressed today, think I’ll go to the state of Emo-California. 90003 90022 2. California Has Its Own Speak 90023 90002 The word 90007 hella 90008 is used by NoCal peeps whereas the classic 90007 like 90008 definitely has its roots in the San Fernando Valley. No one really calls California Cali, but it’s ok to call San Francisco- 90007 The City, 90008 and Sacramento- 90007 Sactown 90008. Just do not call National City, 90007 Nasty City 90008 or Los Angeles, 90007 La-La Land. 90008 90003 90022 3.California Songs Dominate Their Playlists 90023 90002 Since most Californians spend a lot of time in the car, they need great music to listen to, and luckily there are many songs written specifically about California. And what California playlist would be complete without The Beach Boy’s California 90007 Girls 90008, Katy Perry’s 90007 California Gurls 90008, and Gretchen Wilson’s 90007 California Girls. 90008 There must be something special about California to inspire so much music. 90003 90022 4.There’s Every Type Of Girl In California 90023 90002 California girls are multi-ethnic, multi-cultural, beautiful, and for the most part open-minded. Since most Californians are pretty liberal, they’re pretty chill about almost everything. 90003 90022 5. Californians Do It Outdoors 90023 90002 Californians try to spend as much time outside as possible, so many classes, movies and concerts are held outdoors, not to mention all the sex that people have in great outdoors. Watch out for pine-needles! 90003 90022 6.Californians Are Socially-Conscious 90023 90002 Everybody has to have their own shopping bags, since in many parts of the state, stores are not allowed to give out plastic bags. Your California girl may be taking many less showers and is washing her hair less often to help conserve water. Sometimes people will even shower together, you know to save on water. 90003 90022 7. She’s Probably Into Webseries 90023 90002 Every other person you meet in Southern California has their own webseries and they constantly want you to watch it.Some of these webseries are great and are fun to watch, others not so much. If you want a career in entertainment industry, you gotta have a webseries. 90003 90022 8. Californians Put Avocado In Anything 90023.90000 My Kid Needs to Know What? An Age By Age Guide to Sex Education — And What to Do! (By Cath Hakanson) — 90001 90002 90003 When it comes to sex education, parents usually have many questions. How do I start? What do I say? When do I say it? 90004 90003 Sex education has (thankfully) changed since we were kids. You simply can not do sex education with a big one-off talk (even if you think you have covered everything).Today it is about lots of small, frequent, repetitive conversations with your child. 90004 90003 So why do you need to talk to your kids about all this stuff? 90004 90003 Firstly, your kids are going to hear about sex, from their friends, from surfing the internet, and by watching the television. By getting in first, you are making sure that they receive the right information and more importantly, that they know how you feel about it. 90004 90003 Secondly, is that you are actually influencing what your kids will one day do about sex.Kids that receive good sex education are more likely to delay having sex and when they do start, they are more likely to avoid unwanted pregnancies, and sexually transmitted infections. 90004 90003 Here you will find an outline of the different things about sex that kids eventually need to know about. The topics and ages are just a guide, and are based on what we know about child sexual development, and in keeping our kids healthy and safe in our world today. 90004 90015 Babies and toddlers (0-24 months) 90016 90017 90018 The names of their body parts- yes, the penis and vulva too! 90019 90018 That it is okay to touch all parts of their body — let them grab their vulva or penis at bath time or during nappy changes.90019 90018 Start pointing out the differences between boys and girls — boys have penises and girls have vulvas. 90019 90018 Start talking about the functions of our body parts — urine comes out through your penis / vulva, poo comes out through your bottom / anus (and it is okay to use appropriate slang, just not all of the time). 90019 90018 If they like being naked all the time, start introducing boundaries about nudity — there is a time and a place to be naked (and it is not at the park!). 90019 90028 90029 The support they need.90030 90003 Technically, it is not really sex education at this age. It is really just about letting your child explore their whole body and to start pointing out simple differences between boys and girls. When naming the parts of their bodies you can also include their penis or vulva and also talk about what they can do — ‘yes, that is your penis and your wee (urine) comes out of there!’. The end goal is for your child to be comfortable with their whole body and to see all parts as being equal (with no shame).90004 90015 Early childhood (2-5 years) 90016 90029 90036 Our bodies 90037 90030 90017 90018 The correct names of the body parts and what they do. 90019 90018 That boys and girls are different but are also the same — girls usually have a vulva, boys usually have a penis but we all have nipples / bottoms / noses / hands, etc. 90019 90018 That our bodies are different and that is okay to be different. 90019 90018 That our bodies can tell us what we are feeling — we have many different feelings and we can feel them in our body.90019 90028 90029 90036 Privacy 90037 90030 90017 90018 That some parts of the body are private -these are not for the whole world to see. 90019 90018 That there are private and public places and times — this one is a tricky one for kids to learn as it changes. For example, it might be okay for your child to be naked at home when their grandmother is visiting but not the plumber! 90019 90018 To respect other people’s privacy. For example, if the bathroom door is closed, that they should knock and ask if they can come in.90019 90018 That they are entitled to privacy too — like when they go to the toilet, are in the bath or getting dressed. 90019 90018 That conversations about bodies are for private times at home and with their parents (not in the school yard). 90019 90028 90029 90036 Touching ourselves 90037 90030 90017 90018 That it is okay to touch their penis or vulva but that there is a time and a place for it. 90019 90018 Set limits around genital play. Explain that touching your own genitals can feel good but that it is a private activity, like toileting, and it should happen in a private place, like in their bedroom.90019 90018 If your child grabs their genitals when they are out socially, gently remind them that they need to keep their hands out of their pants. Do not make a big fuss as they are doing it because it makes them feel more secure. Eventually they will outgrow it! 90019 90018 If found playing ‘doctor’ with a friend (looking at each other’s genitals), take a deep breath, calmly interrupt them, ask them to get dressed and distract them into another toy or game. Later on, you can discuss privacy and rules about touching.90019 90028 90029 90036 Babies 90037 90030 90017 90018 That all living things reproduce- trees drop seeds, dogs have puppies and humans have babies. Slowly start pointing out examples of reproduction when you see it. 90019 90018 A baby grows inside the woman — uterus or baby bag or even tummy (you’ll get specific later on). 90019 90018 Both a man and a woman are needed to make a baby. 90019 90018 How a baby is made — that you need a part from a man (cell or sperm) and a part from a woman (cell or egg) to make a baby.’Where do I come from’ is usually the first question kids ask! 90019 90018 That a baby grows inside a woman. Keep it super simple — they only want basic concepts. The details come much later. 90019 90018 If they want to know how the baby comes out, just explain that it comes out of the woman’s stomach or through her vagina. 90019 90018 That making babies is for adults and not for kids to do. Get into the habit of reminding them of this, every time you talk about it. 90019 90028 90029 90036 Body ownership and touching 90037 90030 90017 90018 That they are the boss of their body and have a right to say who can touch their body (you included).90019 90018 That it is not okay to hug or touch someone if they do not want you to (and vice versa). 90019 90018 That sometimes there are reasons for an adult to look at or touch their body, like a doctor or nurse. 90019 90018 That we do not keep secrets about our bodies. Secrets can be about surprises and presents. 90019 90018 That they can always tell you about anything that makes them feel bad or funny. 90019 90028 90029 The support they need 90030 90003 Preschoolers are the easiest age to teach.They are like empty sponges, ready to soak up information about anything and everything. If they have not had an explanation that makes sense to them, they will use their imagination to make up their own reason. Get ready to repeat yourself as they easily forget and sometimes they do not understand you the first time or only hear part of it. And do not forget to ask them what they mean, so that you give them the right answer! 90004 90003 You want to set yourself as their number one source for information.This means being honest and answering their questions about babies. By answering, you are giving your child the message that they can talk to you about anything and that you are a reliable source for information. This is a good thing, especially once they start to have contact with other kids. 90004 90003 If you are struggling with the words to use, there are some fantastic sex education books that you can use. They provide the information and are written in an age-appropriate way. Also, at this age, they do not notice if you slip an educational book into the pile of books that you read before bed each night! 90004 90015 Middle childhood (5-8 years) 90016 90029 90036 Our bodies 90037 90030 90017 90018 Know what words to use when talking about body parts (both boys and girls) — penis, testicles, scrotum, anus, vulva, labia, vagina, clitoris, uterus and ovaries.90019 90018 To have some knowledge of the internal reproductive organs — uterus, ovary, fallopian tubes, urethra, bladder, bowel. 90019 90018 That bodies come in all different shapes, sizes and colours. 90019 90018 Both boys and girls have body parts that may feel good when touched. 90019 90018 To be able to look after their own body i.e. private parts, hair, teeth, skin, etc. 90019 90018 To have refusal skills in place — ‘Stop, I do not like that’. 90019 90028 90029 90036 Puberty 90037 90030 90017 90018 That their bodies will change as they get older.90019 90018 That puberty is a time of physical and emotional change. If they want to know what changes, just talk about how this is the stage where they grow into an adult. 90019 90028 90029 90036 Sexual intercourse 90037 90030 90017 90018 That a baby can happen when a man’s sperm joins a woman’s ovum and that it usually happens by sexual intercourse (IVF is another way). 90019 90018 That a baby is made when sperm leave the man through his penis and go into the woman’s vagina. They then find their way to the place where the egg is.The egg and the sperm then join together, and grow into a baby. 90019 90018 That adults have sex and that it’s a natural, normal and healthy part of life. 90019 90018 That adults often kiss, hug, touch and engage in other sexual behaviours with one another to show caring for each other and to feel good. 90019 90018 That sex is an adult activity and is not for kids. 90019 90018 That adults can choose whether or not to have a baby. 90019 90028 90029 90036 Sexual behaviour 90037 90030 90017 90018 Masturbation — some kids do and some do not.90019 90018 That all sexual behaviour is private i.e. masturbation, sexual intercourse. 90019 90018 That bodies can feel good when touched. 90019 90018 That sometimes people look at pictures of naked people or people having sex on the internet and this is not for kids. You also need to discuss with your child what they should do when (not if) they come across these images. 90019 90018 Explain that there are different sexual orientations such as heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual. 90019 90028 90029 90036 Love 90037 90030 90017 90018 Love means having deep and warm feelings for yourself and others.90019 90018 People can experience different types of love. 90019 90018 People express love in different ways to their parents, families and friends. 90019 90018 Dating is when two people are romantically attracted to each other and spend their free time together. 90019 90018 Dating starts as a teen. 90019 90018 People can experience different loving relationships throughout their lives. 90019 90028 90029 90036 Friendships 90037 90030 90017 90018 You can have many friends or just a few.90019 90018 You can have different types of friends. 90019 90018 Friends can be angry with each other and still be friends. 90019 90018 Friends spend time together and get to know each other. 90019 90018 Friends can hurt each other’s feelings. 90019 90018 Friendships depend on honesty. 90019 90018 Friends can be older or younger, male or female. 90019 90028 90029 90036 Families 90037 90030 90017 90018 There are different types of families. 90019 90018 Families can change over time.90019 90018 Every member has something unique to contribute. 90019 90018 Family members take care of each other. 90019 90018 Families have rules to help them live together. 90019 90018 Members of a family can live in different places and still be a family. 90019 90028 90029 90036 Personal skills 90037 90030 90017 90018 Everyone has rights, kids too. 90019 90018 People communicate in many different ways. 90019 90018 It is okay to ask for help. 90019 90018 Start practicing decision making around the home.90019 90018 All decisions have consequences — positive and negative. 90019 90018 Practice assertiveness. 90019 90018 Practice negotiation skills to resolve a problem or conflict. 90019 90028 90029 The support they need 90030 90003 This is the stage where your kids believe and absorb everything you say — so do not waste this opportunity to set yourself up as their main source for information. If you do not they will just get it from somewhere else (friends and the media). 90004 90003 There is a big difference between what a 5-year-old and an 8-year-old needs to know — as they get older, you need to give them more details and repeat yourself a lot more! 90004 90003 Try to answer their questions as honestly and matter-of-factly as possible.Ask them ‘what do you think?’ — this helps you to work out what they already know and what they want to know. Make sure that you give them enough information so that they do not make wrong conclusions, e.g. if you say that a baby is made when a man and woman sleep together, they may think that means when they lie down next to each other. Check that they have understood what you have said and to see if they have any more questions. 90004 90003 Some kids do not ask questions, which means that it is up to you to start the conversation.You can do this by looking for everyday opportunities to start a conversation — a pregnant woman, a couple kissing on TV, menstrual products in the bathroom. You could also buy some sex education books to read together. 90004 90015 Late childhood (9-12 years) 90016 90029 90036 Puberty 90037 90030 90017 90018 All of the above but in much greater detail 90019 90018 What physical, social and emotional changes to expect with puberty (both sexes). 90019 90018 Girls need to know be prepared for their first period.90019 90018 Boys need to know about ejaculation and wet dreams. 90019 90018 That fertility happens once girls start having periods and boys start producing semen. 90019 90018 That both boys and girls are able to have babies after they have reached puberty. 90019 90028 90029 90036 Sexual behaviour 90037 90030 90003 Some kids are curious about sex and some are not. Both are normal. Once puberty starts, they will slowly start to think about sex as being something that they may someday want to do.By starting conversations about sex with your child, you are letting them know that it is okay for them to come to you with any questions. 90004 90017 90018 More details about sexual intercourse and other sexual behaviours. 90019 90018 Basic information about STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) as they may hear about them — sometimes you can catch infections when you have sexual intercourse but there are ways to make sex safer. 90019 90018 Basic information about how to avoid pregnancy — there are things you can do that will prevent pregnancy.90019 90018 Awareness of their parent’s sexual values ​​and beliefs — love, dating, contraception, when it is okay to become sexually active, etc. 90019 90018 That once puberty starts, they will slowly start to feel more sexual and develop romantic feelings towards their peers. 90019 90018 That once puberty starts, same sex fantasy and attraction is not unusual and does not necessarily indicate sexual orientation. 90019 90018 That sexuality is exaggerated in pornography. 90019 90018 How to be cybersmart and to use their mobile phone safely.90019 90018 The characteristics of respectful relationships. 90019 90028 90029 The support they need 90030 90003 This may be your last chance to talk while your child is still willing to listen to you! As they approach their teens, they are starting to rely more on their friends for answers and information. This means that you need to make sure they know that they can come and talk to you about anything (and I mean anything). 90004 90003 So answer their questions honestly and provide them with more detailed information.If you do not know the answer to their question, look for the answer together. Do not just tell them the facts but share what your values ​​and beliefs are about it, especially when it comes to topics such as love, dating, sexual intercourse and contraception. 90004 90003 You’ll need to start getting creative and find some new ways to start talking with them (give them a book, talk whilst driving them somewhere, talk about something you both see while watching TV. You can also help them to develop decision- making, communication and assertiveness skills.90004 90015 Adolescence and beyond … 90016 90003 If you have not started talking to your kids about sex by this stage, you had better get moving! It is never too late to start, but it will be a lot more challenging! 90004 90003 Adolescence is when sex education really starts to get sexual! There’s a lot of tough topics out there — dating, contraception, when to have sex, how to say ‘no’, to name a few! 90004 90003 The huge benefit of talking to your kids from an early age is that you have empowered them with the knowledge to be able to make good decisions about sex.You will also have a relationship with them where they know that they can talk to you about anything — and I mean anything! 90004 90003 The information that you have given your child is important, but what really matters is that you are talking about it! That is what really matters! 90004 90003 (And remember, it is never too late to start talking!) 90004 90339 90003 90341 About the Author: Cath Hakanson 90004 90003 Cath Hakanson is a mother, nurse, sex educator and founder 90344 Sex Ed Rescue 90345.Bringing her 20+ years clinical knowledge, a practical down-to-earth approach, and passion for helping families, Cath inspires parents to talk to their kids about sex so that kids can talk to their parents about anything! Sex Ed Rescue arms parents with the 90344 tools, advice and tips 90345 to make sex education a normal part of everyday life. Get her free 90344 ‘Age Specific Topic Guide’ 90345 that you can quickly refer to. 90004 90003 Find Cath on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. 90004 90029 Like this article? 90030 90003 Subscribe to our free newsletter for a weekly round up of our best articles 90004 .90000 What Your Teens Need You To Know — 90001 90002 Posted by Karen Young 90003 90002 0 views 90003 90006 90002 There’s something you need to know about adolescents that will change your relationship with them.It’s no secret that the changes they go through are phenomenal. If you live with one, you’ll probably be familiar with the tears, the fighting, the yelling and the angst — yours and theirs. You might also have felt the distance, so vast some days a small planet could get lost in the space between you, no problem at all. Then there are the times they are completely wonderful — hilarious, affectionate, creative, protective. The ups can be amazing, the downs can be awful and the way they get from one to the other so quickly some days can be mindblowing.90003 90002 For a long time, we put the baffling behaviour of adolescence down to a fierce surging of hormones. Though hormones play a role, the main thing driving their behaviour is the massive brain changes they’re going through. The things that can send us, and them, into a tailspin are actually a really normal, healthy part of adolescence and an important part of the adventure they’re on to figure out who they are and where they fit in to the world. 90003 90002 The more you can see things through their eyes, the more what they do will make sense, and the stronger your relationship will be at the end of it.90003 90013 What Your Teens Need You to Know 90014 90015 90016 90017 We do not want to disconnect from you. 90018 90002 The emotional centres of our brains are on fire. Our highs are brilliant, our lows are excruciating, and we can flip between the two without warning. Sometimes you’ll get caught in the crossfire. Our fight or flight response can be triggered really easily and when this happens, we might yell, shout, swear, say awful things (fight) or shut down to you (flee). We do not like how this feels and we do not want to disconnect from you, even thought that’s the vibe we might send out.You matter to us. What you think and the way you see us is really important. There are so many reasons we do the crazy stuff we do, but wanting to disconnect from you is never one of them. 90003 90021 90016 90017 When you push against us, you make it easy for us to pull away. 90018 90002 You will not agree with all of our decisions but we will not always agree with yours either. When you push against us without taking the time to understand, you push us away from you and towards our friends. They make being with them easy because they understand everything about us.Absolutely everything. 90003 90021 90016 90017 If you have to say ‘no’, let us know that you get it. 90018 90002 We’re pretty sure that when you say no to something it’s because you do not understand why it’s so important to us. Of course you’ll need to say no sometimes, but if you do, let us know that you understand the importance of whatever it is we’re asking for. It will make your ‘no’ much easier to accept. We need to know that you get it. Listen to what we have to say and ask questions to understand, not to prove us wrong.We’re not trying to control you or manipulate you. Some things might not seem important to you but if we’re asking, they’re really important to us. 90003 90021 90016 90017 No more ‘I told you so’s.’ 90018 90002 We’re going to make mistakes — no doubt about it. It’s how we learn and grow and if you shame us for the fall, you keep us from the lessons. Saying ‘I told you so’ might make you feel clever but it will make us feel like rubbish. Yes, you did tell us so, and yes, we should have listened but we did not.We can not turn back time and we can not disappear the bruises that came with whatever stupid decision we made, but we can learn from it. Help us with that by making it safe enough to own what we’ve done and figure out what it means. Listen to us, let us know that it’s okay, and help us uncover the lesson. That’s what makes you different to everyone else in our lives — your patience, your energy, your support and your wisdom. There are things we learn from the fall that we would not have learned otherwise.It’s our job to try lots of things, fail some things and figure it out along the way. It’s how we get ready for life. If it was not meant to be that way, adolescence would have come with more arrows and less blind bends. 90003 90021 90016 90017 We do not have it figured out yet, but that will come. 90018 90002 Be patient. We do not know what we want to do or who we want to be. That feels really bad sometimes. Just keep reminding us that it’s okay that we do not have it all figured out yet, and maybe remind yourself sometimes too.90003 90021 90016 90017 We are not you. 90018 90002 There will be things you were great at that we suck at and will always suck at. But then there will be things that take us to full flight. We might have found our thing or it might still be coming, but we all have the makings of something great in us. Do not stop us from trying out new things, even if they seem silly or useless. We’re looking for the thing that lights us up and it might come from somewhere unexpected. Great things often do.Be patient and let us surprise you. 90003 90021 90016 90017 We’re starting to think differently. Sometimes that means ‘different to you’. 90018 90002 The part of our brain that thinks about things creatively is sparking like never before. We’re thinking about the world in different ways and experimenting with who we are and where we fit in. As a healthy, normal part of that, we’ll question the status quo and we’ll question you. Do not shut us down, even if you disagree. The only way we’ll listen to your point of view is if you respect ours.That might feel unfair, because we will not always respect yours. Remind us that you want to hear what we have to say but that we need to be respectful while we say it. We can tend to forget that sometimes. It’s just that what we have to say is really important and we’re worried you will not get it. 90003 90021 90016 90017 If you want us to act like adults, remember not to treat us like kids. 90018 90002 We’re experimenting with being adults. It’s important for us and it’s important for you so do not treat us like kids.We’re stuck in this in between space and it’s really confusing some days. We’re starting to have the responsibilities of adults, but with limits of children. Start trusting us with more freedom, more space, and more room to make our mistakes. Sometimes we’ll disappoint you and sometimes we’ll surprise you. We’re letting go of the rail, and we’re going to wobble a bit before we stand tall. 90003 90021 90016 90017 We need to find out who we are without you. Do not take it personally. 90018 90002 You might wonder why things are a bit distant between us.Sometimes we feel it too. We love you as much as ever but we’re experimenting with needing you less. Needing you less does not mean loving you less. If we’re ever going to stand in the world as independent adults, learning how to do that needs to start now. We’re trying to find out who we are and where we fit in to the world and that’s something we need to do on our own. It might feel like we’re pushing you away, and I suppose we kind of are, but it’s only temporary. When we figure it out, we’ll be back.Do not worry if it takes a while. 90003 90021 90016 90017 We still want you there — you’re important — but it kind of has to be on our terms for a while. 90018 90002 When the world gets tough, nobody can make things feels safer or better the way you can, but if we have more bad conversations than good ones it makes it really hard for us to draw on that when we need it. We’ll take in more of your wisdom when you’re loving us than when you’re lecturing, criticising or judging us. It probably feels like it’s all on our terms, and for a while it will be.We need you there when we need you but we also need to be able to stand without you. We do not know what that looks like and sometimes we’ll go too far. We do not mean to hurt you or make you feel as though you do not matter. You do. You really do. Sometimes this adolescence thing feels bad for us too. 90003 90021 90016 90017 We will live up to your expectations or down to them. 90018 90002 The greatest reason we have to do the right thing is to preserve our relationship with you. We want to keep your respect, your trust and the connection we have with you.When it’s not there we have nothing to lose, and that’s not good for anyone. It means everything to know that you believe in us. 90003 90021 90016 90017 Our friends are everything. But moving towards them does not mean we’re rejecting you. 90018 90002 We need comfort, visibility and security. We’ve always needed it and we’ll need it for the rest of our lives. It’s a human thing, not an adolescent thing. It’s why we humans love groups — it’s how we feel safest and strongest and it’s been that way for thousands of years.Up to now, our group — our tribe — has been with you, our family, but it’s not good for us or you if we stay dependant. We’re experimenting with other groups who can meet our needs when we step into the world as adults. These groups are our friends and if we’re disconnected from them, it feels like death. This is not dramatic, it’s evolution. We’re wired to be in packs. There would have been a time when humans who were disconnected from a pack would have died. That’s why we hassle you when it comes to being with our friends.They’re our tribe and we feel disconnected from them if we’re not a part of what they’re doing. We need to feel close to them — it’s how we feel strong, safe and secure. It’s normal and it’s healthy. Being part of a group is what has kept humans alive all this time. These friendships are 90086 that 90087 important. We need to know you understand that. That does not mean you have to let us do everything we want with them, but understand why we might unravel when you get between us. 90003 90021 90016 90017 If you do not approve, do not keep bringing it up.90018 90002 The more you try to pull us away from our friends, the more you’ll push us towards them. Nobody wants to be criticized and if you criticize our friendship choices, we’ll work really hard to prove that you’re wrong. We’ll focus on the good in them and the bad in you and that will bring a distance between us. Do not be critical. Do not be judgemental. Do not give us ultimatums. You might not like them but they’re our tribe and they’re important to us — so important that we would sacrifice membership of our family tribe for membership of theirs if you make it hard for us to be in both.That means we might lie to be with them, lie about seeing them or ignore any rules or boundaries you try to put up. We do not want to, but if we’re backed into a corner, it will feel like the only choice we have. If you do not like our friends talk to us about it, but do not keep talking about it. The truth is that you have no control over what we do unless we decide to listen to you. If you want influence, you have to be someone we respect and trust, and someone we do not feel judged by. Give us the space and support to figure it out for ourselves and make it easy for us to acknowledge that we might have made a mistake.90003 90021 90016 90017 It will go wrong sometimes. Be the one we can come to. 90018 90002 Sometimes in a group we might lead each other astray. Be the one that we can come to — without judgement, preaching or heavy direction — when those groups do not feel good to be in. 90003 90021 90102 90103 90016 90017 Social media is really important. Do not take it away. 90018 90002 A lot of adults say that we’ve lost the ability to connect because of social media. The truth is that we still connect, we just do it differently to you.We always know what’s happening and who is in trouble. We can be there for each other whenever one of us needs it. Yes there’s a dark side, but when the light shines heavily on one side of something there’s always going to be a dark side. Talk to us about the risks but do not assume we’re all falling into the hole. We have to learn to navigate this because it’s not going anywhere. 90003 90021 90016 90017 We need information, not rules. 90018 90002 Nobody ever got into trouble because they had too much information.Talking to us about things like sex, drugs and drinking will not make us go out there and try it. We already know more about most things than you think we do. Talk to us about the risks, and trust that we will use the information well. 90003 90021 90016 90017 Understand why we need to try new things. 90018 90002 We crave the high that comes from trying out new things. It means we’ll engage with the world in really great ways, but it can also mean that we take risks. There’s a good reason for this and it’s to do with the dopamine in our brains.Dopamine is what makes us feel alive and it’s released when we try new or unfamiliar things. We all have it and we’re all driven to get more of it. This is a good thing. It’s what makes us explore the world and experiment with our place in it, otherwise we’d be living with you forever — we would not experiment with other relationships, jobs or activities. We would not contribute to the world and we would not explore it. Our dopamine levels are lower than yours, which is why we might seem bored sometimes.When we do things that are new or exciting (or risky — it can be a fine line), its release is higher that it is in you. As well as this, the part of our brain that thinks about consequences and helps make good decisions is not fully online yet. See the problem? We’re looking for the ‘high’ that comes with trying new things but new things can also be risky things and we do not have all the stop signs in place yet. Support us in finding ways to get the ‘high’ that will not get us dead, injured or in jail.Sport, new activities or hobbies or anything that pushes us against the edges of ourselves might do it. 90003 90021 90016 90017 We’re as smart as we’ve ever been, but sometimes our decisions will not be. 90018 90002 In our brains, the part that decides whether something is a good idea or a bad one is changing. During adolescence, our brain will start to focus on the potential positives of a decision and weigh them more heavily than the negatives. This is why we’ll do risky things sometimes.We’ll really push against the edges of ourselves. Sometimes we’ll reach full flight, and sometimes we’ll fall out of the sky with a thud. Talk to us about the risks, but do not lecture us. You’ll want to, but you’ll lose us if you do. Let it be easy for us to come to you, and when we do something stupid, listen to us, but do not preach to us. There’s probably nothing at the point that you can say that we would not have figured out on the fall back to earth. We need to feel as though we’re still okay.Disapprove of the stupid things we do, but know that it’s when we’ve done those stupid things that we need to hear more than ever the reasons you think we’re great. 90003 90021 90016 90017 Let us know we can come to you with anything, but understand if we do not come to you for very much at all. 90018 90002 We’re trying to find our own way. We love you, and we know you have wisdom that would really help us along but this growing up thing is something we have to do a lot of on our own. Be there when we need you, but understand that there will be a lot we’ll want to figure out without you.90003 90021 90016 90017 We do not sleep in because we’re lazy. 90018 90002 Our body clock is different to yours. We’re least awake in the morning and we come alive in the afternoon. It’s why we’re often up late and in the mornings seem to be in energy saving mode. 90003 90021 90102 90002 We love you. We seriously love you. We do not always show it, and sometimes it will feel like we’re pushing you away. The distance is not because you do not matter anymore, it’s because we need to know who we are without you.Adolescence is complicated and there will be plenty of bumps along the way. Probably some yelling, tears and feisty words too. Know that it’s all part of what we have to do to get to where we’re going, and know how much we want you there when we find our way through. 90003 90017 Like this article? 90018 90002 Subscribe to our free newsletter for a weekly round up of our best articles 90003 Filed under: Adolescents, With Kids 90002 Tags: adolescence, adolescent, adolescents, family relationships, parenting, teens 90003 .